New @asp channel owner

After a long and fruitful reign of terror, it is my time to step down as the channel owner of #asp before either Obama or the UN decide to send a coalition to knock me out.

In the grand non-democratic tradition of #asp, the new channel owner is @dev_null. While his status won't reflect him officially as the 500 op, he is by all means in charge. We are having trouble connecting to Channel Service to fix this, so it may take a while before the new 500 op kicks in. I am of course still available, I just won't be taking part in running the channel anymore.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

Halp (yup, this still happens in 2011)

Image by pvera via Flickr* Gooch (~butt_tail@pool-96-236-196-128.pitbpa.fios.verizon.net) has joined #asp
* @Pytte (~ACIDDRY@Aciddry.users.undernet.org) Quit (Quit)
<Gooch> i had to write some classic asp today unfortuantely, but i couldnt get what i was trying to do to work. i wrote a query to select 13 offices then i did a loop like this
<Gooch> Do Until rs("Off").EOF
<Gooch> Response.Write(rsOff("officetxt"))
<Gooch> rsOff.MoveNext
<Gooch> Loop
<Gooch> actually the first line is wrong
<Gooch> Do Until rsOff.EOF
<@dev_null> you can't do that
<Gooch> what did i do wrong
<Gooch> i got the same office printing 13 times
<Gooch> instead of 13 different offices
<@dev_null> not since the lawsuit
<Gooch> what cant you do
<@dev_null> you can't loop like that any more
<Gooch> how do you loop then
<@dev_null> thank bill gates for that one
<Gooch> in classic asp
<Gooch> not .net
<@dev_null> you have to use the curly braces now
<@dev_null> yeah thats what I mean
<Gooch> where do you put those
<@dev_null> what version of mdac are you using?
<Gooch> im not sure
<Gooch> id have to look when i get to work
<@dev_null> find out
<Gooch> ok
<Gooch> i dont see why it wouldnt work though because this application has code in it from 10 years ago that still works
<@dev_null> yeah that is unchanged
<Gooch> you mean anyting new wont work?
<@dev_null> so anyway just find out what version of mdac you are on
<Gooch> ok
<Gooch> then what do i do
<@dev_null> then google that version of mdac and lawsait and the syntax will come up
<@dev_null> it is going to be with the curly braces
<@dev_null> its because the interpreter is different
<Gooch> where are the curly braces though
<@dev_null> i have not done any .net since the lawsuit so I am a little fuzzy in it
<Gooch> oh ok
<@dev_null> i went with lamp
<@dev_null> maybe one of these other guys will know the exact syntax
<Gooch> i'll look it up. thanks for the help
<@dev_null> but if you google your mdac version and the laswsuit it should come right up
<Gooch> ok cool
<@dev_null> glad to help
<@VP|bofh> who said tits?
<Gooch> ha
<@VP|bofh> what's he trying to do?
<@VP|bofh> don't tell me he is trying do until ... in asp
<@dev_null> yuah
<@VP|bofh> ok
<@VP|bofh> what version of the mdac?
<Gooch> im not sure of the version. i'll have to look tomorrow
<@VP|bofh> then you are not in a hurry
<@VP|bofh> had me worried for a second, we try to help people regardless of how fucked they are
<Gooch> haha
* Gooch (~butt_tail@pool-96-236-196-128.pitbpa.fios.verizon.net) Quit (Quit: It Takes A Village Idiot)
<@VP|bofh> it does

Happy birthday mylobean!

From someecards.com:

Last we heard mylobean was trying to slow down the passage of time by preserving himself in low-grade alcohol and expensive tobacco fumes. Everyone wish him a happy birthday!

On Jimmy Wales' scare tactics as an effective fund raising tool

"The corporate jet can't fly on unicorn farts"

-- VP|bofh

Give him a a banana

CoolGui: they are giving a canadian a gold now
VP|bofh: they are peeing on him?
Crusher_: snowboarding?
CoolGui: I don't know
CoolGui: they are inside
VP|bofh: oh, I read that as they are giving a canadian a gold shower (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urolagnia)
@Subnet: sounds about right we rock at the important events
Crusher_: ah, curling
CoolGui: I think it's the only one they won, they are just presenting it now
CoolGui: men's moguls
VP|bofh: give him a banana (http://www.southparkstudios.com/guide/1314/)
@Subnet: we got the gold at freestyle already
CoolGui: he's a frenchy
VP|bofh: that should counter the effects of the pee
Crusher_: oh, yeah, that was yesterday

Virus Protection v. Birth Control

<|anshark> so what else is going on
<Crusher-> a host got reinfected
<Crusher-> repeat offender, this time he is losing autorun
* You are now known as VP|bofh
* Crusher|work (~nothing@h96-61-44-86.mdtnwi.dsl.dynamic.tds.net) has joined #asp
* X sets channel limit to 19
<myles> Crusher|work: do y'all run virus protection there?
* Crusher- has quit (Ping timeout)
<myles> "i can't tell if i drink because she bitches or if she bitches because i drink"
<CoolGui> He told me earlier he never ran antivirus because they didn't infect him
<CoolGui> But I'm not sure if that applies to his work computer.... heh
<VP|bofh> that's sound logic
<VP|bofh> why use a condom if you have never gotten a girl pregnant before?
<CoolGui> well in his defense, I am paraphrasing

If the lawsuit is wrong, we don't want to be right

From #php:
carlsb3rg: can I use ms access with php?
+tlf: Sure, why not?
carlsb3rg: wasn't there some kind of lawsuit?
+benkillin: wtf
+benkillin: YOU FUCKING
+benkillin: YOU ARE A
+benkillin: OMG
+benkillin: A
+benkillin: TROLL
+benkillin: !~@(&*$(&@TRKJFDFKLJH
+tlf: huh?
carlsb3rg: :)

The Microsoft Lawsuit claims a victim

benkillin [b3nk@pinky.ratman.org] entered the room. (9: 49:14 PM)
benkillin: hi
benkillin: you know what
benkillin: you told me a long time ago some things couldnt be done with asp and MS access because of some sort of lawsuit
benkillin: and I actually told that it couldn't be done in a meeting for work because I was making a web app for them
benkillin: and I got fired
benkillin: so fuck you guys
benkillin left the room (+++ OK ATH OK). (9: 51:40 PM)

me, i have a friend and she`s ca, she`s channel dont have op, #rideme that the channel

(this is a very old transcript that used to be posted at the old #asp page at veraperez.com … and yes, I am VP|tc, which means I was telecommuting that day)
SSimina: I NEED HALP
nfn8one: with?
VP|tc: spelling?
VP|tc: finding the caps lock key?
nfn8one: SSimina: what do you need help with? state your problem here
dig: halp
Subnet_: right here right now, slap it on the table
nfn8one: if i knew it was gonna be THAT kinda party i’d have put my dick in the mashed potatoes
VP|tc: halp me obi wan kanobi
Subnet_: lol
SSimina: i have a friend and she`s ca
dig: she’s a cat?
nfn8one: or canadian
nfn8one: a canadian cat?
SSimina: she`s channel dont have op
dig: works for computer associates?
SSimina: cood you hapl she?
VP|tc: she’s a channel?
dig: oh god
ActiveWRK: lol
dig: chan?
VP|tc: goddamn, thats l33t
nfn8one: dig is gonna go harass them
dig: whats the chan?
nfn8one: SSimina: dont come here asking for that kind of help
nfn8one: SSimina: send your friend to #zt or #nastrand for help
SSimina: #rideme that the channel
dig: ah.. help em nfn
dig: lol
dig: lmao
[17: 05] * nfn8one halps dig
SSimina: ok thx nfn8one
nfn8one: wait that isnt sexual is it?
dig: halp me.. im drawnin
dig: lol nfn.. you know you meant it to be sexual
nfn8one: im not touching your halp dude
VP|tc: thats too funny
dig: :)
[17: 06] *** dig is now known as dighalp
nfn8one: kinky
Subnet_: hmm i see
VP|tc: halp me, i have a friend and she`s ca, she`s channel dont have op, #rideme that the channel
SSimina: halp me pls
VP|tc: I mean goddamn, this is better than making shit up
*** Joins: rompetrol (asfd@ti211110a062-0343.dialup.online.no)
nfn8one: halp me oobioobi skadoobi
nfn8one: i have the worst middle name in the galaxy
nfn8one: what is it?
nfn8one: scooby dooby
nfn8one: your name is oobioobi scooby dooby skadoobi?
nfn8one: yes
nfn8one: i am a puppet!
nfn8one: have you guys ever watched thumb wars?
SSimina: nfn8one plsss halp me
nfn8one: SSimina i am halping you

Pls unban weeto

Background:
some guy called “Weeto” got kickbanned, so he sent his friend “Caramello” to threaten us into lifting the ban. Coarse language advisory, reead at your own risk!
–> caramello (~kablo.bro@62.114.185.124) has joined #asp
caramello: Hello there
caramello: LOL @ the topic
caramello: tough world.
caramello: ah well, i guess it comes with the name “asp” huh?
caramello: anyway,
caramello: who here is an active op ?
caramello: hello0
caramello: anyone here?
LlmaHerdr: Speak!
caramello: i need VP-bofh
caramello: i need to speak with VP-bofh or a superior op.
LlmaHerdr: Then why did you ask for “an active op”?
caramello: because:
caramello: i need to speak with VP-bofh or a superior op.
caramello: I would like him or the other to unban Weeto,
caramello: since he does need to be here, and he hasn’t offended anyone here.
caramello: can you help/
caramello: ?
LlmaHerdr: Apparently I’m not superior enough.
–> creativex (~creative@creativx.users.undernet.org) has joined #asp
creativex: plz halp
* LlmaHerdr halps creativex.
creativex: why doesnt the stupid xmlhttp obj return my localized chars.. like ?Ü?ò?Ö
creativex: it just gives me ???
creativex: and im like.. PLZ HALP
creativex: oh
creativex: i got it. stupid crap
LlmaHerdr: caramello, if you know weeto’s host name I can unban him. Dunno why you’re so insistent on VP doing it though.
–> Flipper (~me@flipper.users.undernet.org) has joined #asp
VP-bofh: fuck weeto and fuck caramello
caramello: LlmaHerdr: thank you.
caramello: unfortunately weeto left .
LlmaHerdr: Alright, the Superior Op has spoken.
caramello: i do not understand why this weirdo is so hostile?
caramello: what is the meaning of this? :
caramello: fuck weeto and fuck caramello
caramello: it means that you got a bad op on your channel
caramello: and he doesn’t deserve the op-ship
caramello: people come here to learn and to seek help in writing code.
dev_null: when that “bad op” is the channel owner your case is moot
caramello: people shouldn’t get banned if they say a piece of software wasn’t good for them.
caramello: dev_null: not really.
carlsb3rg: why not?
caramello: when that bad op is the channel owner, and he’s hogging some generic name like #asp,
LlmaHerdr: Notepad.exe wasnt’ good for me!
VP-bofh: let me explain something to you
caramello: then we contact the network cops and have him removed.
caramello: when that bad op is the channel owner, and he’s hogging some generic name like #asp,
caramello: then we contact the network cops and have him removed.
caramello: and take his channel over legally.
carlsb3rg: haha
VP-bofh: I bet the ircops will love it when they see your flooding
caramello: this is not flooding.
* dev_null waves goodby to caramello
caramello: i’m “talking” to the people here.
caramello: it’s been done before.
VP-bofh: you sir are flooding
VP-bofh: now please leave, this is my first friendly request
caramello: and you are faring out your finger nails.
caramello: you better watch it.
caramello: i’m leaving.
carlsb3rg: you’re whining…flooding…being a total shithead…get lost
caramello: thank you again LlmaHerdr
<– caramello (~kablo.bro@62.114.185.124) has left #asp
dev_null: what a whiner
VP-bofh: cocksucker
* LlmaHerdr wields his Golden Crook of Llamaherding (+4 Llama Superiority, +3 Agility)!
VP-bofh: “we are contacting the network cops and have him removed”
— LlmaHerdr sets ban on caramello!*kablo.bro@62.114.185.124
LlmaHerdr: bwahahahaha!
dev_null: hahah
VP-bofh: “and take this channel over legally”
VP-bofh: hey
carlsb3rg: hahaha
VP-bofh: shut the fuck up
* creativex bites VP-bofh’s nipple
–> `micetrow (~maestro@maestro.users.undernet.org) has joined #asp
VP-bofh: or qw’ll talk to the network cops
VP-bofh: and take this channel over legally
creativex: hey what the fuck my mouse pointer stopped
creativex: was it because i bit?
— LlmaHerdr is now known as NetwrkCop
VP-bofh: nibbling = good, biting = bad
dev_null: i bet he/she had you quaking in your boots
VP-bofh: that’s ok
VP-bofh: when that bad op is the channel owner, and he’s hogging some generic name like #rideme
VP-bofh: then we contact the network cops and have him removed.
creativex: im gonna register #1!11111111111111100%asp
VP-bofh: and take this channel over legally
dev_null: when that bad op is the channel owner, and he’s hogging some generic name like #suckcock
VP-bofh: heh, I am a bad op
dev_null: hence the bofh in your name
VP-bofh: i need to speak with VP-bofh or a superior op.
NetwrkCop: lol
VP-bofh: dev, that’s too obvious
NetwrkCop: Okay people, let’s settle down here.
— You are now known as VP|nice
NetwrkCop: Or I’m going to have to use my stick.
VP|nice: fuck this shit
dev_null: use it on me, use it on me
— You are now known as VP-bofh
carlsb3rg: VP-bofh: U iz da cr00k m4n, Im g0ing to #cs3rvice and t4king dis ch4nnal from U!!!!!
VP-bofh: heh
* NetwrkCop wields his big flashlight (+4 vs. caramello)
VP-bofh: ask for CK-2 for supporting votes
carlsb3rg: NetwrkCop: have your joined her channel?
VP-bofh: the hottest girl in the office catches you doing the go-go dance from Hey Ya, -25 points
carlsb3rg: try to spoof some whining off her
VP-bofh: she sha sha sha sha sha shakes it like a polaroid picture, +50 points
creativex: wanahha i fixed the mouse
creativex: vp, the last time i was here you were giving out points to yourself too
creativex: well, giving or taking
NetwrkCop: One of these days we’re going to have someone come in here asking for help to fix a sex passwords website written in ASP.
carlsb3rg: haha
— NetwrkCop is now known as LlmaHerdr
* dev_null will fix porn password pages for free access
VP-bofh: what’s cooler than being cool?
VP-bofh: ICE COLD
VP-bofh: awright awright awright awright awright awright awright awright
LlmaHerdr: Heyyyyyyyyyyy yaaaaaaah
carlsb3rg: r u tha superiah op on ths chanal, VP-bofh?!?!?!! I need to get unbanm y friend weeto!!!
carlsb3rg: hes always nice so u donnot have the rights to ban him!!!!
carlsb3rg: .ro .ro .ro
LlmaHerdr: lol
LlmaHerdr: MY FIRNED PPLS HA:P 4 2 UNBANJ MY FRIEND WEETOS PLZ?
carlsb3rg: hahaha
–> aldente` (~ad@62.240.111.115) has joined #asp
<– aldente` (~ad@62.240.111.115) has left #asp
dev_null: please unban my ass partner and lifemate because the stress of not being able to whine in #asp is imapcting his ability to ram his cock into my ass effectivly
carlsb3rg: haha
carlsb3rg: lol
LlmaHerdr: omg lmao
–> ^maestro (~maestro@129sdl30m51.codetel.net.do) has joined #asp
carlsb3rg: ^maestro: do ya now my freind weeto=?!!?!?!?!
carlsb3rg: HE IS BAND FROM #ASP, PLZ HALP!!!!
carlsb3rg: does anyone actually discuss asp here any more?
creativex: i tried to
creativex: but sorta gave up
LlmaHerdr: What r asp???
carlsb3rg: haha
creativex: anal sex positions
LlmaHerdr: oh
<– `micetrow has quit (Ping timeout)
— ^maestro is now known as `micetrow
–> txhotblkm (txhotblklo@ACA9C08A.ipt.aol.com) has joined #asp
<– txhotblkm (txhotblklo@ACA9C08A.ipt.aol.com) has left #asp
LlmaHerdr: hmm
LlmaHerdr: txhotblkm…wonder what he’s looking for
carlsb3rg: hot lesbo action most probably
creativex: or anal glue

A guide to #asp memes

Definition of meme

#asp can look like a totally screwed up place to anyone that has not been around more than a few weeks. It looks even worse if you have been around for a while, but that is what makes it fun. One of the things that really throw newbies off-balance is our rich history of meme usage. I decided that maybe it is time to write down some of these so it is easier to pass them around.

The #asp meme list (in no particular order):

1. FuW - “Fuck You Weekend.” This is simple, all it means is that once the weekend starts, people are less willing to take crap from newcomers that can’t understand that #asp is a free resource and nobody is forced to help them. FuW usually follows the US holidays calendar. FuW is declared when the op posts it in the channel topic (but it can be requested earlier).
2. Fast and Danger - This is a rip-off of Ill Mitch. Go to his site to figure out the proper usage.
3. I’m Rick James, bitch - Watch Chapelle’s show on Comedy Central to find out what this is about.
4. Fuck your couch! - This is part of the Rick James sketch on Chapelle’s show.
5. You are trying too hard - This is our way of telling you that the answer to your problem is so simple that you have to drop what you are doing, chill a little bit and try again.
6. Goos fava - From Anger Management, this is a mantra used to relax. If you got hit with goos fava then you are probably a bit too wound up about a problem.
7. I find your lack of faith disturbing - From Star Wars: A new hope. This is what Dart Vader tells one of his generals. This means you are not allowing us the proper benefit of the doubt when explaining a clever solution to your problem.
8. Llama - A clueless newbie.
9. Weeto - Infamous llama that was covered extensively here.
10. Vikas, Metasolver - Legendary llama. If you have experienced Vikas/Metasolver then you are probably an old timer.
11. Bad Op - This is an obscure reference to when Weeto got kicked out of the chatroom and sent a friend to beg to get the ban lifted.
12. My tourette’s is about to act up - The op is warning you that a curse storm is about to happen.
13. Read and weep + URL - This is a weak attempt at plugging a personal site. Sometimes the URL is legit, but most of the times it is just the op *cough* getting on his soap box about whatever.
14. Strategery meeting - A staff meeting that will probably be a waste of time for a programmer to be present.
15. It never ends, your bullshit - From the 5th season of HBO’s The Sopranos.
16. I’ll suck y’alls cocks - Also from the 5th season of The Sopranos. It means you are desperate for help.
17. Magic wand - A mythical custom server control that can do ANYTHING. It is so powerful that it generates its own help file if you use magicwand.generatedocs, etc.
18. ChiliASP - Something that doesn’t work. Trust us.
19. Superior Op - Weeto’s begging friend wanted to talk to an op that rated higher than myself, to try to overturn Weeto’s ban. [Thanks to carlsb3rg]
20. Take over this channel legally - “I don’t like you as ops and am going to -0wnz0rz your chat room”
21. He said [insert something here] - Diversionary tactic. The most common is “heh, he said tool.” [Thanks to dev_null]
22. True/False - Another diversionary tactic. “This chat room is false.” Or “you sir are false, and your head is small.”
23. I must go home, masturbate and rethink, bitchass - “I need to think about this a little longer.”
24. 920 rupees - About $20 USD. When alec_eso and myself bought our licenses to iBlog, we thought it was hilarious that our credit cards were charged in rupees instead of dollars, since Lifli is based in India. The figure is used in the same fashion as Dr. Evil’s 100 billion dollars.
25. My friend - The nigerian scammer greeting. [Thanks to dev_null]
26. Time is not on our side - Please hurry up so I can rip you off. “Hello my friend, time is not on our side. Please send the before discussed 920 rupees …” [Thanks to dev_null]
27. I am not wearing any nickers - Trademark greeting from Ramsey.
28. I thought you said you needed a new pooper! - Another of Ramsey’s trademarked greetings.
29. A bad childhood - The standard excuse for llamas whenever mistreated by an op or a regular. “Why are you such an asshole? You had a bad childhood?”
30. Bacongo - Bacongo was covered extensively here. [Thanks to carlsb3rg]
31. LOL 10X M8?!?!?!?! - A giggling llama trying to kiss ass so we help. That bunch of garbage actually means “LOL thanks mate!”. [Thanks to carlsb3rg]
32. #asp means “anal.sex.partners” or “anal.sex.pleasure” - This is the standard answer for whenever a llama asks if he arrived at the *right* #asp chatroom. [Thanks to dev_null]
33. @HALP - Imaginary bot command used to weed out people that think #asp stands for “alt.sex.passwords”
34. Darkness - From the Rick James sketch on the Chapelle show. The Darkness brothers are Eddie and Charlie Murphy, who (according to Rick James) were the blackest people in Hollywood until Wesley Snipes arrived to the scene. [Thanks to alec_eso]
35. I just hang mine over the towel rod - Another of Ramsey’s trademarked phrases. Ask him at your own risk. [Thanks to alec_eso]
36. Suck my balls - Leave me the hell alone/what you have to say is irrelevant. One of Eric Cartman’s most memorable lines from South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut.
37. Are you stupid? - This is tricky. The op is asking you *if* you are stupid. Problem is people with poor English skills automatically think it means the op is calling the person stupid.
38. Klingon - Any language that is not English, Spanish or German.
39. Ninja - The highest rank of badass there is. ASP ninjas are living and breathing magic wands, they just *will* code and it shows up. For a great introduction to ninjas, click here.
40. Bitch - From Chapelle’s show: you.
41. Bill Brasky - From a rare funny moment in Saturday Night Live. Bill Brasky is a son of a gun.
42. Praise Allah … - Usually means the op/regular is extremely happy that something worked out right. “… Praise Allah the most merciful for the gift of an additional 1GB DDR on dev server. Allah is most merciful of this insignificant programmer…”
43. Infidels - Anyone that makes a programmer’s life hell. Used in conjunction with meme: “May Allah the Great crush the Marketing Infidels with His Holy Fist of What the Fuck where they thinking??? Praise Allah…”
44. There is no [insert asp related issue here]! - Our little homage to the Iraqi Information Minister. “THERE IS NO -1 RECORDCOUNT. SADDAM’S INVINCIBLE CURSOR RETURNED THE PROPER RECORDCOUNT! -1 IS A LIE FROM THE IMPERIALIST INFIDEL PIGS…”
45. PLS HALP THX JIJI - Please help me, I am a dumbass llama and I am drowning on a glass of water because it I am genetically impaired from understanding the concepts of RTFM and GIS. One of the first instances of PLS HALP can be found here.
46. @google - Not a real meme but people still think we are full of shit when we use it. Yes, it is a damn Google “I feel lucky” bot.
47. The “lawsuit” - A llama asks a stupid question, and the op replies “sorry, can’t be done since Microsoft lost the lawsuit. You need to but a third party service pack in order to do that …” It preys on the public’s prejudice on Microsoft, so no lawsuit against Microsoft will ever sound unrealistic.

If we have missed a meme please add it to the comments.

Bacongo!

bacongo: (~eyery@90stb10.codetel.net.do) has joined #asp 

ramster: bacango! 

ramster: there is nothign like the smell of farts and lysol! 

ramster: bacongo, the forbidden odor!! 

ramster: bacongo Dec 02 19: 30:05 [-- bacongo has quit (Ping timeout) Dec 02 19: 46:00 

[-- WorkinGui has quit (Quit: This sucks.) 

Subnet_: hehe 

VP-bofh: bacango is the coffee made from undigested beans harvested off monkey poop in Indonesia ramster: yes 

ramster: the forbidden breakfast drink 

ramster: bacongo! 

VP-bofh: bacongo: 1 oz bacardi white, one slice of ripe mango, one olive, fart on the glass and serve chilled 

Subnet_: hehe 

ramster: yeah 

ramster: speaking of that 

ramster: i dreamed i was drinkign a giant margarita last night. this mornign there was salt all over the toilet seat 

VP-bofh: bacongo: the dried nuts of a llama, ground into a fine powder and snorted as part of the ceremonial rituals of the indigenous peoples of wherever 

VP-bofh: I know this because Tyler knows this 

url: [payment type], @halp, @surprise, @bacongo 

alec_eso: @bacongo 

VP-bofh: bacongo: the straw used for felching 

Subnet_: !google bacongo felching 

VP-bofh: God knows he’ll probably get a hit 

VP-bofh: !google paris hilton bacongo 

Subnet_: hehe 

Subnet_: i can’t wait to experience the @surprise command 

alec_eso: !google ricky martin +”livin’ la vida loca” +”bacongo” 

Subnet_: bbiaf 

VP-bofh: I haven’t executed @surprise yet 

VP-bofh: not that anyone here is stupid enough to not figure out what the fuck it is used for 

VP-bofh: @get http://member.sbacongo.com ccbill 

ramster: liek this… 

ramster: [19:59] [ramster] @surprise 

ramster: [19:59] 

[Nicodemus] hello 

ramster: [19:59]

 [ramster] bacongo! 

ramster: [19:59]

[Nicodemus] o.O 

ramster: its liek close encounters 

Dec 02 20: 01:45 [ramster] bacongo is bacon with go on the end

#asp @ Undernet IRC

We now have a reddit at #asp @ Undernet IRC, because obviously you have too much free time in your hands. The reddit can also be accessed as reddit.aspchan.net.

What is proper email etiquette?

What is proper email etiquette?: "Thomas Blaikie and Lucy Kellaway debate the proper way to address people in emails"

Easy:

Pedro's Rules of Business Email:

1. Must follow the same standards in place for WRITTEN communications.

2. Spell check the damn thing, please. It is embarrassing to all parties when an email has unnecessary typos.

3. Be concise. Be specific. Write in full sentences.

4. Check your tone.

5. Check the stupid carbon copy and blind copy lists!

6. If you are complaining about an error, make sure the error isn't yours. It makes you look stupid and somebody will eventually dig out the email to use it against you.

7. Provide relevant information. If you are sending a screen capture, also send the URL of the page, so others can replicate it.

8. Don't hit the send button if you are upset. I am sure 99.99% of all email clients in use have a draft feature.

9. Don't hey people, it's rude.

10. Always use a signature block with your full name, title, company, phone/fax, etc. whenever you contact somebody outside of your organization. NO EXCUSES!

11. Don't curse in external emails, it's childish, stupid, rude and unprofessional.

12. Check rule #5 if you are cursing in an email.

13. Don't be stupid with attachments. Give them real names, not document.doc or document.pdf. If it is big enough, don't email the document, put it in a web folder and email instructions on how to download.

14. Don't break the thread. Once a thread starts, breaking the tread makes it much harder to research issues at a later date.

15. Don't cut people off a thread unless you have a very good reason. The third time I add my project manager and my business manager to the stupid thread, I am hinting at you to stop deleting them, so please stop it.

16. No SMS notation, sorry.

17. Be careful with acronyms with outside recipients, they may not have a clue what you are talking about.

18. Even if you don't need to reply in length, acknowledge receipt.

Pedro's Rule of Personal Email:

1. Rules #2, #4, #5, #8, #13, #17 should apply for most cases.

2. Make sure that you are not copying the same person with multiple addresses. Don't be lazy maintaining your address book, as the same people email from new addresses, ask them for their preferred address and stick to it.

Happy birthday alec_eso!