Happy birthday mylobean!

From someecards.com:

Last we heard mylobean was trying to slow down the passage of time by preserving himself in low-grade alcohol and expensive tobacco fumes. Everyone wish him a happy birthday!

On Jimmy Wales' scare tactics as an effective fund raising tool

"The corporate jet can't fly on unicorn farts"

-- VP|bofh

Give him a a banana

CoolGui: they are giving a canadian a gold now
VP|bofh: they are peeing on him?
Crusher_: snowboarding?
CoolGui: I don't know
CoolGui: they are inside
VP|bofh: oh, I read that as they are giving a canadian a gold shower (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urolagnia)
@Subnet: sounds about right we rock at the important events
Crusher_: ah, curling
CoolGui: I think it's the only one they won, they are just presenting it now
CoolGui: men's moguls
VP|bofh: give him a banana (http://www.southparkstudios.com/guide/1314/)
@Subnet: we got the gold at freestyle already
CoolGui: he's a frenchy
VP|bofh: that should counter the effects of the pee
Crusher_: oh, yeah, that was yesterday

Virus Protection v. Birth Control

<|anshark> so what else is going on
<Crusher-> a host got reinfected
<Crusher-> repeat offender, this time he is losing autorun
* You are now known as VP|bofh
* Crusher|work (~nothing@h96-61-44-86.mdtnwi.dsl.dynamic.tds.net) has joined #asp
* X sets channel limit to 19
<myles> Crusher|work: do y'all run virus protection there?
* Crusher- has quit (Ping timeout)
<myles> "i can't tell if i drink because she bitches or if she bitches because i drink"
<CoolGui> He told me earlier he never ran antivirus because they didn't infect him
<CoolGui> But I'm not sure if that applies to his work computer.... heh
<VP|bofh> that's sound logic
<VP|bofh> why use a condom if you have never gotten a girl pregnant before?
<CoolGui> well in his defense, I am paraphrasing

If the lawsuit is wrong, we don't want to be right

From #php:
carlsb3rg: can I use ms access with php?
+tlf: Sure, why not?
carlsb3rg: wasn't there some kind of lawsuit?
+benkillin: wtf
+benkillin: YOU FUCKING
+benkillin: YOU ARE A
+benkillin: OMG
+benkillin: A
+benkillin: TROLL
+benkillin: !~@(&*$(&@TRKJFDFKLJH
+tlf: huh?
carlsb3rg: :)

The Microsoft Lawsuit claims a victim

benkillin [b3nk@pinky.ratman.org] entered the room. (9: 49:14 PM)
benkillin: hi
benkillin: you know what
benkillin: you told me a long time ago some things couldnt be done with asp and MS access because of some sort of lawsuit
benkillin: and I actually told that it couldn't be done in a meeting for work because I was making a web app for them
benkillin: and I got fired
benkillin: so fuck you guys
benkillin left the room (+++ OK ATH OK). (9: 51:40 PM)

me, i have a friend and she`s ca, she`s channel dont have op, #rideme that the channel

(this is a very old transcript that used to be posted at the old #asp page at veraperez.com … and yes, I am VP|tc, which means I was telecommuting that day)
SSimina: I NEED HALP
nfn8one: with?
VP|tc: spelling?
VP|tc: finding the caps lock key?
nfn8one: SSimina: what do you need help with? state your problem here
dig: halp
Subnet_: right here right now, slap it on the table
nfn8one: if i knew it was gonna be THAT kinda party i’d have put my dick in the mashed potatoes
VP|tc: halp me obi wan kanobi
Subnet_: lol
SSimina: i have a friend and she`s ca
dig: she’s a cat?
nfn8one: or canadian
nfn8one: a canadian cat?
SSimina: she`s channel dont have op
dig: works for computer associates?
SSimina: cood you hapl she?
VP|tc: she’s a channel?
dig: oh god
ActiveWRK: lol
dig: chan?
VP|tc: goddamn, thats l33t
nfn8one: dig is gonna go harass them
dig: whats the chan?
nfn8one: SSimina: dont come here asking for that kind of help
nfn8one: SSimina: send your friend to #zt or #nastrand for help
SSimina: #rideme that the channel
dig: ah.. help em nfn
dig: lol
dig: lmao
[17: 05] * nfn8one halps dig
SSimina: ok thx nfn8one
nfn8one: wait that isnt sexual is it?
dig: halp me.. im drawnin
dig: lol nfn.. you know you meant it to be sexual
nfn8one: im not touching your halp dude
VP|tc: thats too funny
dig: :)
[17: 06] *** dig is now known as dighalp
nfn8one: kinky
Subnet_: hmm i see
VP|tc: halp me, i have a friend and she`s ca, she`s channel dont have op, #rideme that the channel
SSimina: halp me pls
VP|tc: I mean goddamn, this is better than making shit up
*** Joins: rompetrol (asfd@ti211110a062-0343.dialup.online.no)
nfn8one: halp me oobioobi skadoobi
nfn8one: i have the worst middle name in the galaxy
nfn8one: what is it?
nfn8one: scooby dooby
nfn8one: your name is oobioobi scooby dooby skadoobi?
nfn8one: yes
nfn8one: i am a puppet!
nfn8one: have you guys ever watched thumb wars?
SSimina: nfn8one plsss halp me
nfn8one: SSimina i am halping you