ISO: Web developer, DC region (no, this is not a repeat)

My employer, who runs the most kickass, greatest little web shop in the DC Metro area, is now looking for one more programmer to add to our band of misfits. This is a permanent, full-time (not contract) position.

What we want:

1. A “programmer” that groks programming, not somebody that is proficient in one language and can’t deal with anything else.

2. Our weapon of choice is ASP.net, it is not a requirement for hire, but you must learn it in a reasonable time. Our last hire walked in with solid programming experience and literally zero knowledge of .net, and he had no trouble whatsoever picking it up (it was actually a bit scary how fast he learned it).

3. We are all proficient in SQL, not specialized in one given flavor. We want people that understand SQL well enough to switch between products with minor adjustments. The idea here is that a programmer needs to understand relational databases, and he/she must really understand ANSI SQL as a language.

4. Troubleshooting skills are critical, there is no way around this. If you can’t troubleshoot, we don’t want you.

5. Communication skills are critical. Our programmers deal with customers directly, and can’t afford to fall back on the project manager. We ride the phones a lot, it is a reality of life for our line of business. If you are the kind that doesn’t like to talk on the phone or that can’t write coherent emails, please don’t bother.

6. 99% of the programming that we do requires a high degree of autonomy with very little supervision. Our ideal programmer understands how to fill-in the blanks from general guidelines. If you need every deliverable broken into 20 bullet points stating every little thing, this is not the kind of job for you.

7. We are BUSY and we frown on clock punchers. Our boss has a really simple way to deal with grumpy overworked programmers: he throws money at us until we shut up. Expect to work like hell and be rewarded handsomely for it. To offset this, we have a really kickass flex schedule.

8. We are process-oriented to a fault, which is one of the reasons why we are so popular with our customers.

9. We pride ourselves in our ability to overcome any technical hurdle. Our customers keep coming back to us because instead of saying that something cannot be done, we are ready and able to offer them multiple alternative approaches.

What you get:

1. Challenging work. We will give you migraines from the puzzles that you have to deal with.

2. We are busy in the middle of a recession. While others don’t know where the next project is coming from, we are always wondering how we are going to fit one more project.

3. We have a very tight technical team, and our management speaks geek. The good news is this means that management usually understands whatever technical approach you are trying to pitch. The bad news is that it is almost impossible to get away with a bluff on technical merits.

4. Very competitive compensation, including quarterly bonuses paid based on billable work (the more you bill, the bigger the bonus), not on performance appraisals that are adjusted against a Bell curve behind your back.

5. The usual health, etc. that everyone else gets.

6. 100% telecommuting. Right now we are scattered over the mid Atlantic states. We have had employees on both coasts, basically it all depends on your specific workload. The company provides laptop, VoIP phone, company card, etc.

7. Flexible scheduling. Again, this depends on specific workload.

If you are interested, please send me your resume and cover letter and we’ll take it from there. Principals only, please.